Job Security Tips When Working for a President Who Thrives on ‘You’re Fired!’

On Tuesday, President Trump tweeted the following:

After 200 days, rarely has any Administration achieved what we have achieved.. not even close! Don’t believe the Fake News Suppression Polls!

Acerbic replies ignore the fact that the president has a point: He has fired more people in his administration than any other president this early in his first term.

For a man whose fame was built on the catchphrase “you’re fired,” he’s certainly outclassed every other firer-in-chief. Not even close!

The question, then, is what does it take to survive in the Trump White House when the president is itching to give you the boot?

Experience in Washington doesn’t seem to offer much protection. Jeff Sessions, the first senator to endorse Trump, has also had to endure his boss tell the press that he wishes he hadn’t hired him in the first place. Reince Priebus knows the Washington insider game as well as anyone, yet he was given his walking papers. And James Comey was fired as FBI director because he put honesty over loyalty, which led Trump to ask Comey to give “honest loyalty,” which Comey promised to provide. Yet he, too, was sacked.

So loyalty appears to be the ticket to success in Trumpworld, yes? Well, not according to Anthony Scaramucci, whose loyalty to The Donald was his only qualifying attribute to serve as White House Communications Director. And what did that get him? Ten whole days in the West Wing before Trump showed him the door. Mooch’s loyalty wasn’t honest enough to keep him from unemployment.

Future administration applicants would be wise to heed these pointers as they go into their job interview:

With Trump, good news is good news.

Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t shoot the messenger?” Donald Trump hasn’t. Or if he has, it hasn’t stopped him from putting down the gun.

Donald Trump only likes to hear about happy people with happy problems, which is why his staff delivers a folder full of glowing pro-Trump propaganda. And not once, but twice every day.

One White House official said that the only feedback they’ve received from the president in the communications office is that they “need to be more fucking positive.” So it’s likely that a job transition is in the future for anyone intent on upsetting the Trump’s world of superlatives.

Trump is the only person allowed to embarrass Trump.

A president has no self-awareness has the capacity to embarrass himself multiple times on any given day. But watch out when you embarrass him by your conduct: Trump has absolutely no patience for it. Exhibit A: Scaramucci’s vulgar comments to the press didn’t cost him his job because the president was offended, but because it made the president look bad.

Trump is in charge. Just ask him.

When news stories started claiming that Steve Bannon was the power behind the throne, Trump reportedly went ballistic. It didn’t much matter that Bannon actually was the power behind the throne. It only matters that this is how it was being reported. Bannon has since seen his duties seriously curtailed. Many observers expect him to be the next head on the Trump chopping block.

It may have something to do with what he had for breakfast.

Or in other words, “who knows?” A president who is mercurial in his loyalties and possesses the the attention span of a fruit fly may fire because he doesn’t like the employee’s hair, or thinks that firing might be funny, or he just hasn’t said “you’re fired” in a while. Who can blame him for wanting to keep his hand in “The Apprentice” game? The only person with job security in the current White House is the guy or gal who hands him the folder with the puff pieces from the press.

(Image via screenshot of President Trump speaking at the Celebrate Freedom Rally in July, 2017)

JACK is a friend, who points out the hidden flaws to the unobvious argument. A pragmatic fictitious charter, JACK is prone to satire and may explore the realm of fake news in any given article. A fun and comedic writer whose purpose is to both enlighten and lighten the otherwise stressful discussion of politics and current events.

Leave a Comment